CHARISMA

Is about as important as anything else in life. Social interaction is a must for being happy, and the higher quality the better. Implementing charisma in every-day conversation will make you stand out, and will generally give the conversation a more positive tone.

Warning; Excess charisma will seem like sarcasm. Knowing how and when to use charisma takes practice. Place your nods, smiles, and diction strategically.

If you're already a charismatic person, you probably didn't need to read this.

ADVICE

This should be studied and absorbed by all of you. It will change your life for the better.

http://www.wimp.com/sunscreensong/

Bookmark it.

PLAY

I hate it when people use facts about the needy to augment their arguments, but I'm a hypocrite (you are too, whether you've come to accept it or not). Literally billions of people live everyday on less than what you make in an hour on minimum wage. You don't realize how lucky you are, and no matter how many times you're told that, it will never sink in.

Back to the matter at hand, if life feels drab and unfulfilling, it's time to stop being so damn grim.

You need to become more grateful (and respectful) for everything around you, even things you 'hate'. You need to stop taking things so seriously, You need to learn when to draw the line when it comes to work, and most importantly, You need to have some fun.

I don't care how you do it, so long as you aren't hampering somebody else's fun. Dance. Set every combustible in sight ablaze. Bungee jump (see THRILL). Relax, breathe, and play.

ORIGINALITY

is useful, but please use it only if you're confident enough in your ability to do so. Originality, when implemented intelligently, can produce outstanding results. It is very easy, however, to use it incorrectly, which makes you look plain foolish. If you can't handle the main stream, don't go trying to make a whole new one.

If this is beginning to sound like a fortune cookie, try to understand that fortune cookies, or just cookies in general, don't make noise. Not only do they lack vocal cords, but cookies fail to exhibit any indication of self-awareness whatsoever.

In summary, be original, but at your own risk.

RETIREMENT HOMES

Stay away from them whenever possible. They're a great source of depression. They're full of the weak, weary, and senile. Their purpose is to combat the course of nature, keeping the elderly far beyond their expiration dates, in an infernal state of suffering and repetition. Monday, you piss yourself, Tuesday, you're given some banana with your mush, and Wednesday you might just be lucky enough to attend your roommate's funeral with the rest of your hardly-conscious neighbors.

Some old folks are exceptionally cognizant and charming, but they're few and far between. When you can no longer walk, when you lose the ability to talk, when you're so helpless that lifting a limb leaves you exhausted, and you're fed through a tube inserted into your stomach, it's time to die.

Admittedly, this sounds grave, but think about what makes you a person, what makes life worthwhile, and picture waking up every morning without any of those things. People in these homes aren't living, they're being sustained, dragged out, and left in misery.

Never allow yourself to be sent to one of these places.
If you remember one thing from my blog, let this be it.

THRILL

Take risks. Take them as often as possible, in as extreme a degree as possible, and with as little hesitation as possible. This doesn't mean 'do stupid things' or 'recklessly put your life in danger' or 'rob a bank because a blog told me to and it's a nice rush'. Your risks should be calculated, and can be tiny at first. 'At first' because some may need to start with baby steps, before moving on to the 37-foot-jump-through-a-flaming-hoop kind of thing.

Planning out something risky and following through with it can feel like an achievement. The smallest of risks can feel like large accomplishments, and the largest of risks can leave you with life-changing experiences.

We avoid risks in life because, well, they're risky. If you've ever sat down and thought about your past and where your life is headed, you've probably wished that life was more interesting, or that you would have done something you were afraid to do. This is called regret, and in order to achieve any sliver of perpetual euphoria, it should be eliminated from your life.

I'm stopping here because large bodies of text can be daunting, and I'd like people to actually read this rather than skim over the page and call it a day. Summary: don't stress about what could happen, take a chance, and look forward to what will happen.

STRESS

Stress is highly unproductive and will deter you from reaching whatever it is you're stressing about. Relieve stress with stress relievers, eg.) go to the gym, write a poem, sit under a tree, pee on things in public, punch small animals, and if it comes down to it, pee on small animals you've recently punched for copious amounts of relief.

Method for stress-free living-

When you begin to worry about something, pause for a moment and look at the situation. Examine it completely, and try to understand how silly you were for beginning to worry.*

*this method of stress relief won't work if you don't allow it to. It's similar to hypnosis; you can only enter the trance if you allow yourself to do so. The world's best hypnotist cannot induce an unwilling subject. Basically, if you aren't open to seeing the nonsense in your worry, then you won't.

P.S. wild rabbits can be difficult to get into punching range, you can try the caged bunnies at your nearest pet store.

INTRO TO ME

I am not artsy, I am not philosophical, I am not intelligent.

In case you're wondering, I'm not Suicidal either. I can be happy without listening to vinyls in a dimly lit library on a velvet couch with a copy of Nietzsche on my lap.

Veni Vidi Vasi

People used to speak latin. A baby born was to learn latin, and his last words would be in latin. An empire spoke it, and now it's a dead language.

The title translated-

I came, I saw, I moved on